Praise in Pain

So as part of our pre-marital (just typed martial and it made me laugh a little) counseling, Matt and I have to write a Spiritual Journey paper... talking about our Spiritual Journey we've been on - past present and future. I wrote mine months ago but I haven't turned it into our wedding coordinator yet. After a prompting email from her, I decided I should look it over again and make some last minute adjustments. It sort of made me realize that in the few months since I initially wrote that paper, I have grown SO much as a person. It's sort of weird, because you don't really realize you're growing until you have something to reference back to. It only goes to show that every moment counts. Every time I choose to wake up, work-out, try my best, fail, succeed, and all of that daily stuff, I'm slowly but surely growing as a person. Even more remarkable - I'm growing as a Christian; as a sister in Christ. 
I can't help but praise and thank God for this horrible opportunity in which I have been grown and stretched. Some events force you to grow more in a smaller amount of time and the repercussions of that growth hurt... It's like being sore after a ridiculously long work out. But as you work that muscle further, and the lactic acid recedes, you can see the benefit of your labor... and you know you're stronger for it.  
Overall, this has been a test of endurance. I can honestly say, I have endured and I think I endured well. I'm beginning to thank God even for the challenges. If I'm mad, if I'm sad, if I'm too tired to think, if I'm homesick - I am learning how to praise God for those feelings and for testing me in order to grow me. 
To sum it all up - this place sucks, and I don't ever want to repeat this year, but it has all been an important life lesson that I wouldn't have learned any other way. Praise and thanks be to God. 


In other news, I am ridiculously excited about Autumn this year. It has definitely become my favorite season. And because I love lists so much, I'm going to list, in no particular order, the reasons why I think Autumn is da best. 


1) Leaves changing color = Beautiful 
2) Leaves changing color, dying, falling off branches = Catie jumping in a leaf pile. 
3) Leaf Piles = FUN! 
4) Halloween is awesome even as an adult. I can still dress up as whatever I want. However, I've replaced walking along the streets with my mom and dad in the search for copious amounts of candy for a party with friends and copious amounts of alcohol :) - Okay, not copious amounts. But I don't mind trading my king size Milky Way for a beer. 
5) I love the way the beginning of fall feels. It's crisp, its cool - but not freezing. 
6) I love the way fall has a progression of smells. It starts out with the smell of bonfires and leaves. As November comes along it smells like a mixture of cranberry sauce, baked pies, and turkey... for obvious reasons. And December smells like cinnamon and pine and snow soon to come. 
7) I have an obsession with outerwear. 
8) I love to break out my boots, hats, gloves and scarves. 
9) I love my family and I get to see them more in three months of fall than I do the other 9 months of the year. 
10) I wait 11 months to hear nothing but Christmas Carols for an entire month. 
11) Black Friday Tradition. 
12) Food. 
13) Lights. Decorations. CHRISTMAS VILLAGES! 
14) Wedding anniversary :) 
15) Wedding ceremony 
16) Scented candles 
17) Holiday movies make my heart warm. 
18) Hot Chocolate/hot cider .... not-spiked or spiked. Both are fiiiine. 
19) Snugglin' with muh hubs. 
20) Birth of sweet Baby Jesus - I saved the best for (second to) last. My entire list wouldn't mean as much to me if I wasn't so blessed with the life I have.  And the life I have is because of the Grace I have received. And the Grace I have received is because of the baby who was born who later died for my sins - even though it is pretty much decided that Jesus was most definitely not born in December. However, I think he's cool with it. 

I plan on doing this when I get home. Oh yeah, 21) I'LL BE HOME FOR GOOD!  


Side note: I realize that Christmas actually sort of straddles seasons and is technically in the season of Winter, which I don't love as much and it might be my third or last favorite season of the year - But basically October - January 1st is my favorite. 

The Capulets Vs. Montegues ... or Active Duty Vs. Reserve

As most of you know, I've spent a good deal of time away from home, starting last August. Some will remember the month long hiatus I took from work in July in which many 4loko were purchased, many movies were watched, many memories were made. When I told people I was going to be deployed, they asked when. The easiest answer was sometime in the early months of 2011, but there would be roughly six months of training that will lead up to it before I headed over. August-October 10th was spent in Wisconsin and Ft. Knox. October 10th through the beginning of the year was spent at Ft. Hood.


This is a bi-product of our training.


Needless to say - if you read the article, and read the comments - I am quite offended and extremely frustrated with this age-old feud between the active duty components and the reserve components, which is what I fall under.  So. Here is my response to a few of those comments.




Quit whining, Soldiers! Mad cause you couldn't go out drinking and clubbing every night?


-First of all. This congressional addressed many more issues not stated in this article other
than the prohibition of alcohol. It was eight pages long, stating regulations, describing in full
detail all of the issues we had through-out the entire MOB process. Our orders were for 400
days but that doesn’t count the two months of active duty TPU soldiers spent doing RTC and
gunnery before heading to Ft. Hood.


Some reservists don't get it. when in the Middle East there isn't much alcohol, you are confined to base, and can't wear civvies. What kind of Army did they think they were getting into? Boy Scouts can't even go home at night (leave the base) when at Camp Makajawan for two weeks.
178 Honorable Discharges.....and immediately please.


Actually, at least half of our task force has veterans from the Gulf war, Bosnia, and at
least one tour to Iraq previous to the current one we’re serving. There are also many who have previously been active duty and then switched to the reserves.  We don’t “get it?” How about months before active duty is slotted to go to war, they get sequestered from their families and get their basic rights taken away so they can “acclimate” to the way its going to be over here. Did we expect to train hard? Yes. And we did. There were field training exercises every other week, all of the staff worked 12 hours a day, everyone was allowed one day off a week... but on the majority of the weekends, when the active duty unit training us went to go be with their families and we weren't running any kind of training operations what were we supposed to think/do? By the time our training was over, most everyone was saying, “I can’t wait to get to Iraq.” 
Also, being confined to base in Ft. Hood is one thing – being confined in a FOB in the middle of a war zone is another. Nobody is trying to sneak off the FOB to go find the hang out spots in Iraq. And let’s not fool ourselves, despite the rules, there are still alcohol related incidents IN country. Those who are irresponsible are going to be irresponsible no matter what general orders say and they should be dealt with accordingly, but don’t punish the entire BN.


That's the problem with reservists...they put the uniform on 26 days a year...and they just don't get it. The reason the active duty folks get "special" treatment is because they wear the uniform 365 days a year (yes, they miss some weekends, holidays, and other "special" events on a regular basis). The folks in charge of preparing the reservists to go into a combat zone feel that you need at least four months of dedicated training prior to risking your lives. Would you rather they give you "special" treatment and then let you get your --- blown off? Yes, this has been a long war and you have sacrificed...but your active duty brothers and sisters sacrifice themselves every day of every year. You can quit any time...can our active service members to the same
thing?


-Our training for this deployment has been a three year task of continual gunnery, TDY (temporary duty) classes for most MOS’s, and extended drill weekends for training – couple that with a civilian job, school, and a family. Not to mention those who are AGR (Active Guard and Reserve). They ARE active duty, and they continually give up one weekend a month to train with TPU’s on drill weekend. Also, there is no “quitting whenever you want to.” It is just as hard to for us to be discharged as it is for active duty. We have a contract as well. 6 years active reserve and 2 years inactive reserve is the shortest contract offered for a reservist. We aren't asking for “special treatment.” We’re just asking for equal treatment.


Lastly, I understand and agree with a longer segment of training for reservists before entering a warzone. However, hard work and training should be rewarded somewhere. There was no reward, there was no light at the end of the tunnel except to finally leave “The Great Place” and get to Iraq. I am one of the 178 who signed and PROUD of it. I’d also like to vouch for CPT Docimo and say that he is a very smart and capable, pilot, and company commander.


So that's it. Just needed to get those few things off my chest. 


Whew, I feel much better now.

Oopsie!

I can't believe I let nearly one month go by before I wrote something on my blog. In my defense, it has been very busy here. I'm consistently working anywhere between 11-14 hours a day and I've started waking up at 5:45 AM to do my PT. It makes for a long day especially when you add choir. However, it helps the time go by faster. It also makes me neglect certain things like blogs, wedding planning, writing letters back to people etc. The only person I talk to with any frequency back home is Matt... which is as it should be. But still, I feel bad because I simply don't have the energy to talk to people as I would like to. This place is draining and I think the majority of the drainage comes from the people. I think we're all draining each other at this point. We need more than one day of not seeing each other. I'm speaking very generally here... I don't really have an issue with anyone. Certainly there are people that I don't enjoy being around, but I basically get along with everyone.

Despite my month of inactivity, there isn't much that's changed or much to report. It is literally the same shit, different day... and even the days are indistinguishable. Right now, every day is Monday. Except for Sunday. Sunday is still Sunday because that is my day off. So as you can see, there aren't very many variables in my day to day life. The next big thing I'm looking forward to is the birth of my very first Niece, Elizabeth! She's do in less than a week,  however it is Katie's first baby, so I'm sure she'll be fashionably late. I simply can't wait to meet her. I'm SO looking forward to the day that I get to hold my baby niece in my arms. Yay Babies!!!!

Maybe I'll feel more inspired when I've had more sleep. To sum things up - I'm doing well, everyone is annoyed, the days are drifting by, babies are great, and I'm really tired. I think that about covers it. I'll leave you with this.

Walking outside into this temperature makes me want to die.