I love wedding planning.

I really do! And not just for myself. In the process of figuring details out for my own wedding, I've planned about 10 other weddings in my head. Maybe I should be a wedding planner... but then again, I think I would get very frustrated with some of the choices people might make. 
Right now I'm most excited about my flower girl dresses and the ceremony music! My mom sent me fabric samples for the flower girl dresses because I'm actually kind of designing the dresses myself... I say dresses because I'm having TWO flower girls. I decided one wasn't enough. Okay, actually I saw a picture in Billy Grubbs studio of two little Asian girls walking down the aisle together and I immediately thought, "I'll be having two flower girls in my wedding, thank you very much." Anyway, after looking at hundreds of flower girl dresses, I basically decided I hated all of them and for some reason, I need to love the flower girl dresses. Maybe its because I was never a flower girl, and I always wanted to wear some kind of pretty, frufru dress, and walk down an aisle daintily throwing petals. So now I'm taking my flower girl frustrations out on making sure the flower girls look perfect. #Flowergirlcomplexat22. 
So, I'm having the dresses made by a friend of the family who use to make wedding dresses. This friend of the family is also taking my wedding dress from a size 8 down to a size whatever-the-heck-dress-size-I-am. So she's amazing.  

The little girl looking at the camera is wearing the dress that is similar to what I want for my flower girls. The skirt will be that length, but a little less full and the sash will be the same color and material as the bridesmaids gowns. The sleeves are 3/4 length (This is a winter wedding after all) and there will be lace that hangs off the end sort of resembling dresses in the 18th century. Think, Felicity, if you happened to ever receive an American Girl magazine. 


As for the music! Well, I'm not going to spoil ALL the fun. All I'm going to say is that I'm so so so excited about the song I'm using to walk down the aisle. It's an SATB choral arrangement composed by Eric Whitacre. The movement, timbre, dynamics, words, and basically everything about the first 53 seconds of the song, is exactly the way I feel about walking down the aisle to spend the rest of my life with Matthew Castleman as his wife. 
The music the bridal party is walking down the isle to is also perfect, in my opinion. It's soft, it's delicate, it's a classical piece, and it reminds me of snow lightly falling on a beautiful wintry day. Yes, that's right, it's the Leanne Rhymes version of "Let it Snow." 
.... 
No it's not. I would never. It is a classical piece though, and it does have a wintry, elegant feel to it. Both of the songs kind of have to have a slower pace because, unlike Kate Middleton, I don't have five minutes of Abby to walk down. It's actually the one draw back about the chapel in Crossroads. I would like a longer aisle. Oh well, I'm forcing everyone to keep it at about .05MPH. 
I'm still looking for music for the lighting of the unity candle. I don't know if that's just a Catholic thing or not, but I like it, so I'm doing it. 
As for the recessional (is that the right word?) music... the music that Me, Matt, and the rest of the bridal party walk back down the aisle to... Well, it's going to be great. I'll just say that. 


YAY! I actually listened to all the songs while I was typing this and it got me even more excited. It's a little more than six months away! YES!!! 

Consecutive Blogs!

Crazy, huh?! I haven't done two blogs in a row for a while but I feel like blogging... not about anything in particular. It's sort of a question I ask myself whenever I get online. "Do I feel like blogging today?" ... "No." And I basically go off that question. Sometimes, I feel prompted by God. I would say if anyone ever responded to one of my blogs by saying, "Oh wow, that is really insightful!" ... It didn't come from me. I'll have to start tagging God in those posts.
I got Matt's care packages today!!! YAY! My camera is perfect, I got all kinds of teas and organic honey to sweeten it with, leave in conditioner, snacks, and my bathing suit! Hurray! No more worrying about silly pool people come up to me asking me if I can cover up my shirt and shorts, which cover more than a one piece... but as a general rule for the army - if it makes sense, it's not authorized.
When I opened my packages, I just stared at its contents and reveled in the feeling of being loved by husband. I love that one of the most secure things in my life, is my relationship with him. Even from thousands of miles away, we're so much in love. Sort of sappy and sentimental, I know but I'm so proud of us. We are not one of those couples that are naturally good at long distance relationships. But God has given us the strength to get through it. Not only that, he's blessed our relationship in such a way that I've only grown to love Matt more from the time we've spent apart.  It's going to be 1000 times more amazing when we get to see each other again :)

Ta-da!  New swim suit! Complete with combat boots, M16 and trashy smirk! I sort of decided against putting this up on facebook. I have too many friends on there in the army and I don't feel like dealing with their comments. Yes, they can read my blog but I'm about 85% sure that none of them do. The suit is a little bit big, but I sort of like that it turned into a little mini dress thing instead of a swimsuit... It's better that I don't wear skin tight anything to the pool. 

Things to look forward to!

Time seems to be moving faster than I realized... until I realized it. Now, I feel like the days are crawling. Actually, I'm pretty sure that the last two weeks of the month go by slower than the first two weeks. It's very annoying. I'm trying to just look forward to July. Lots of fun things happen in July... and by lots I mean like one or two. Mainly, Elizabeth will be here! HURRAY! But we'll also be doing some preemptive packing to get up out of herr. The idea of packing makes me o' so very happy.  I've always enjoyed packing. I'm not sure why. Whenever we went on vacations, packing was never an issue for me... not that I pack things well, but I enjoy the process of getting ready to leave. I guess it was the anticipation of the vacation.
I'm currently counting down until I get Matt's care packages! They should be here any day. I'm excited to have a camera and a swim suit! Yay for husbands being awesome!

Matt and I have kind of narrowed down our puppy search to two breeds. Shetland Sheepdog (Sheltie) or an Australian Shepherd (Aussie). We decided against anything tea-cup or toy breeds because of health problems and yappy-tiny-dog problems because we've heard these issues are pretty prevalent in smaller breeds... even though they are so stinkin' cute. Both the Sheltie and the Aussie are herding dogs, but they are easy to train, highly intelligent, and love being with people constantly. They both require a lot of exercise so they don't get destructive, but I'm okay with that.  Really Matt and I want a dog that can be a great companion to the both of us. I know it is going to be a while before Matt and I are financially able to have kids, so a little puppy to chase after and train will be a good :) We decided we would wait until after the wedding and the honeymoon before we officially adopted our little pooch and I'm SO excited!

 This is a red merle Australian Shepherd. I LOVE the merles. They come in Blue and Red and I think both of them are simply gorgeous.

This is a blue merle Sheltie. Shelties end up looking like miniature collies when they're full grown, which is perfect :)

Yay puppies! 

Stretched

You know the feeling you get when you forget a paper is due an hour before you're supposed to turn it in? Or the way you feel when you know you're about to get in trouble? What about the nagging feeling that something is wrong, but you simply can't put your finger on it? 
That is sort of how I feel almost all hours of the day. 
I can tell that God is currently stretching my faith right now. I mean, this entire deployment has been quite a learning experience in faith already. Recently, God officially took me out of my "deployment comfort zone." I don't want to go into all the details but lets just say, this shit just got real. The events don't really matter. More importantly, is the way I reacted and continue to react to the trials put before me and my fellow soldiers.  
I can't say that my faith is such that I don't worry about anything that happens over here. I do worry. There are times that I'm scared, that I'm terrified, but those are the times I simply have to give it all to God. I simply have to put my trust and my life in Jesus. What's interesting is that "simply putting my trust and my life into Jesus' hands" is a constant prayer I have to have. My fears are never completely dissipated, however my fears do not control me, and that is how I know I'm growing. 
It is hard. I want to come home so bad. I want to come home and stay home. I want to feel safe. I want to eat good food, and kiss my husband, and bask in the feeling of security. But that isn't where God wants me right now. Right now, I'm on a journey that requires complete separation from my normal comforts. I believe it is Gods way for me to make it a habit to continually talk to him. And I am certainly getting there because if I wasn't in continual conversation with God, I really might have gone crazy by now. 


Well. I've now had two blogs in a row that were spiritually in depth. Not that there is a problem with that, but I believe too, that serious conversation should be balanced with light hearted conversation. 
I tore out all my favorite photographs from Vogue, Glamour, and various other magazines I've collected since being here, and taped them up on my wall. I'm very pleased with this and I think my friend, Shelbi, would be pleased as well. It definitely helps my chu feel a little more... I don't know. I don't want to say "at home." This is not home. But it makes me feel better when I see vintage-esque Dior adds hanging up on my wall. 
PS: Everyone needs to feel GREAT about being allowed to, basically, wear whatever the hell they want. Wearing the same uniform every day for over 365 days, to include nights and weekends, is NOT fun. 

 This just needed to get on here because it is an a-mazing shot taken by one of our crew chiefs during an awesome lightening storm we had the other day. 

                                                   And this is on my wall. And I love it. 

Focus

Recently, I've been full of hope. This hope, I can only suppose is God-Given because my tour here has not always been one that I could call "hopeful." There have been many days I've walked around in something of a haze. My section has become depleted in its numbers and sometimes months seem like years and it's all I feel I can do to keep from going under. However, I've remained steadfast in my faith and I've worked hard on bringing everything to God. At night, when I'm lying in bed, ready for the sweet reverie of sleep, I make sure the first thing I say to God is thank you. Not just thanks for the friends and family I have back home. Not just thanks for the beautiful life I have waiting for me when I return. I tell him thank you for the gifts I have right here in Iraq--
I'm continually fed. I have a ton of food at my disposal from the DFAC and from care packages I've received from loved ones. I'm warm and dry at night with the ability to control the temperature of my room. I sleep comfortably in my jersey sheets and comforter, with my fan and my air conditioner blowing. 
I have clothes on my back. The army has prepared me for the second ice age and for global warming all with the same clothing issue. 
Despite the distance, Matt and I are flourishing in our relationship. If it's possible, I'm more in love with him now than I was the last time we said goodbye. And so, I'm thankful for the distance. It's funny how two people can be so far apart and yet continue to grow so close together. I know it is Gods doing. Refiners Fire. The Potters Wheel. And all the other biblical terms explaining the experiences we go through are part of a plan to make us into Gods best version of ourselves. And that is this time we have apart. 
And so, I've been filled with hope. I can't focus on the things I don't have, I can only focus and be thankful for the things I DO have. That doesn't stop me from thinking about the people back home. It doesn't mean I don't talk about what it will be like to go home. But now, I talk about it with an air of hope instead of an air of longing. It makes a big difference. As of right now, I'm thankful for Gods insight in me, and I'm thankful for a mind at peace. 

It's been almost four months since we said goodbye. 

I wish I didn't hate.....

RUNNING. I HATE RUNNING. But I really wish I didn't hate it. Both my brothers are excellent runners. I'm talking 12-minutes-to-run-two-miles kind of runners. And they've been doing it since their little toddlers legs could carry them. And then there's me. The best two mile run I've ever done was 16:15.... in the middle of basic training.... And of course I didn't keep up with running when I got home. Every now and then I go out and run two miles to make sure I can still pass my PT test. And I do pass. But I hate every second of it. Here is my list of why I hate running.

#1 - Do to the over pronation of my feet, my knees turn in slightly when I walk. When I run, its worse and it forces my legs to kick out to the side when I run. As Matt so gently put it, "You look like a baby giraffe learning to walk right after it came tumbling out of its mom." Not only is this slightly embarrassing, I really think it effects how well I run. I think if my arches, feet, and knees were normal, I would have an easier time of things.

#2 - Side stitches. I don't remember the last time I ran and didn't get one. They hurt. It's either a sharp pain right under my rib cage or right around my hip bone. It drives me crazy because even when I feel good running, all the sudden I'll get one, and they're debilitating. I'll feel great for the first 10 minutes of a run, and then WHAM! Side-stitch. My 7:30 minute mile turns into a 9:00 or even 9:30 minutes mile. I get SO frustrated.

#3 - I hate running without music, but to run around here, you can't have ear plugs in unless you run on a treadmill or a track. I hate running on treadmills. I hate feeling like I'm not going anywhere. I hate running on tracks. I hate running in the same spot/in circles for more than 10 minutes.

And those are my main reasons for hating to run. However, there are so many more reasons to keep running!

1# It's good for your heart.
2# It's the best all around work out your body can get.
3# It especially works those lower abdominals that are so hard to form.
4# It's the best way to lose weight and then keep it off (Not a problem for me yet, but one day, I'm going to have children and one day my metabolism IS going to slow down. When that day comes, I want to be in love with running haha)
5# Lots of other benefits that I can't think of off the top of my head.

So if anyone has any running tips for me, I'll take them. Also, if anyone has any great work out songs, send them my way so I can DL them. I'm always looking for new stuff to listen to.
Alright, no more ranting about running.

There has been a baby born on facebook every month for the last four months. And it only looks to be continuing. However, I seem to be short on June babies. Maybe in June, my baby fever will finally start to ebb. But all these super pregnant mama's-to-be and all these brand-spankin-new-bundles-of-baby-joy are only making me want one more! Poor, Matt. I probably mention having a baby at least 5/7 days a week. This is why, when I get home, we will be getting a puppy. That should keep us busy and me content for a year or so. Despite how much I want a baby, Matt and I both know that we need to be financially ready first. Plus, we want to enjoy living in the same continent, state, city, and house for a while. So fortunately for Katie, this means baby Elizabeth will be the most spoiled baby that ever happened to the Earley family. I'm also planning on getting a job doing something with childcare when I get back, even though I swore I would never work at a pre-school/day-care ever again. I still might not... I'd really like to be a part-time nanny. Watching two or three kids is a lot easier and less stressful than watching 6-14 kids (depending on the age group).
Okay, enough about babies.

Currently...

I spend vast amounts of time looking at the 2011 calendar. Some people might think this is a bad idea considering I've still got months left until my deployment is over, however, I find it quite cathartic. There is something about breaking apart the days that are left in April, and adding the months until July to celebrate the birth of my first biological niece, and then it's just August and September doesn't really count. I literally spent 45 minutes looking at a calendar online so I could mentally prepare myself for the months ahead. I was strangely calmed. Maybe its because we're already making plans to get the heck out of dodge. Don't get excited. Not plans to leave early. Just plans for when it happens. Its nice to think that we're already thinking about leaving. Other nice thoughts of the day include: 


*I'll be home for Halloween
*Melissa is going to plan one heck of a Bachelorette party. 
*Wedding Shower(s)!!!!!!!! 
*My user name on Etsy is catiecastleman. (I also spend a ridiculous amount of time on Etsy. It is currently my new addiction.)
*I'll be home for Thanksgiving
*Babies R Us is not blocked at work, so I found Katie and Lee's registry and made plans to buy EVERYTHING... okay, not everything... but lots of things! Is it considered tithing to spend your 10% on your brother and sister-in-laws baby shower? 
*My veil has been picked out and bought! Thanks, mom! It is absolutely lovely. No, it isn't any of the ones I had shown on here. 
*I'm not so bad at Black Jack... not be confused with Jack Black... which is what I wrote the first time I posted this blog. 
*It doesn't matter how bold coffee is, if you add enough creamer, it won't be bold anymore. (<--- So crafty) 
*This
*My little sister is super awesome and talented AND she's now a first degree red-belt! Sooo basically my sister can kick your sisters arse. Just sayin'. 
*The song 'Delicate' by Damien Rice is perfection. 

Oh and the Civil Wars song of the day is their cover of Dance me to the end of Love.