And now its time for me to be on my way home. In the near future I will board a plane that will finally take me away from this place back to my family, my home, my husband. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to end this chapter of my life and start the next. Already I'm aware that my homecoming will not be filled with the ecstatic smiles and the overwhelming joy that I have long day dreamed of, but just the same, I'm excited to go back to the United States/the tri-state area and just stay there.
I'm actually still wrapping my mind around that thought. I'm going to be home for good in about a weeks time. No more counting down the days until I report back to some state or country or continent far, far away from everyone I love so much.
However, I am thankful for my time away. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned and for realizing that I'm made of tougher stuff than I initially thought. I'm very much aware that my strength comes solely from my faith in God and all the blessings I have incurred from my deployment are all because of Him. I won't lie - There were many times that I was scared. My initial entry into Iraq left me feeling homesick like I use to be as a little girl. I was suddenly aware of how far away everyone was. I use to think I would be deployed with one or both of my brothers... but God had other plans and that safety net was not there for me to hold onto. Its interesting, though, that God puts the right people in your life to help you through the situations you fear you can't overcome. And within a few days of arriving into country, I realized that a certain person was there in place of my brothers and I was comforted.
There were nights after May 4th that I lay in my bed straining all thought and energy on the sounds outside. Was that the air conditioner finishing a cycle or did we have incoming? Would I wake up to those heart stopping booms... would I wake up at all? At that point, all you can do is pray for mercy and the Lords will to make things right. And in my time there, God was merciful. So did I learn to overcome fear? No, not necessarily. I simply learned to trust in God in a much deeper and more meaningful way than I ever could have back home where we all sleep safe and sound.
So here I am after all of that. I didn't think this year would ever end and here I am... on the cusp of finishing. I have my ticket... and I just want to go home.
My Fathers Father
I hear something hanging on the wind
I see black smoke up around the bend
I got my ticket and I'm going to go home
The leaves have changed a time or two
Since the last time the train came through
I got my ticket and I want to go home
My father's father's blood is on the track
A sweet refrain drifts in from the past
I got my ticket and I'm going to go home
The winding roads that led me here
Burn like coal and dry like tears
So here's my hope, my tired soul
And here's my ticket
I want to go, home
Home
Home
I'm actually still wrapping my mind around that thought. I'm going to be home for good in about a weeks time. No more counting down the days until I report back to some state or country or continent far, far away from everyone I love so much.
However, I am thankful for my time away. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned and for realizing that I'm made of tougher stuff than I initially thought. I'm very much aware that my strength comes solely from my faith in God and all the blessings I have incurred from my deployment are all because of Him. I won't lie - There were many times that I was scared. My initial entry into Iraq left me feeling homesick like I use to be as a little girl. I was suddenly aware of how far away everyone was. I use to think I would be deployed with one or both of my brothers... but God had other plans and that safety net was not there for me to hold onto. Its interesting, though, that God puts the right people in your life to help you through the situations you fear you can't overcome. And within a few days of arriving into country, I realized that a certain person was there in place of my brothers and I was comforted.
There were nights after May 4th that I lay in my bed straining all thought and energy on the sounds outside. Was that the air conditioner finishing a cycle or did we have incoming? Would I wake up to those heart stopping booms... would I wake up at all? At that point, all you can do is pray for mercy and the Lords will to make things right. And in my time there, God was merciful. So did I learn to overcome fear? No, not necessarily. I simply learned to trust in God in a much deeper and more meaningful way than I ever could have back home where we all sleep safe and sound.
So here I am after all of that. I didn't think this year would ever end and here I am... on the cusp of finishing. I have my ticket... and I just want to go home.
Of course I have a Civil Wars song to reference. I literally spent all day listening to this song... numerous times on this deployment.
My Fathers Father
I hear something hanging on the wind
I see black smoke up around the bend
I got my ticket and I'm going to go home
The leaves have changed a time or two
Since the last time the train came through
I got my ticket and I want to go home
My father's father's blood is on the track
A sweet refrain drifts in from the past
I got my ticket and I'm going to go home
The winding roads that led me here
Burn like coal and dry like tears
So here's my hope, my tired soul
And here's my ticket
I want to go, home
Home
Home
